You Don't Need a Conclusion
You all, I wrote this 2 weeks ago and it was supposed to send but it never did. So, two newsletters (and one extra for paid subscribers) coming to you this week.
Spring is inherently volatile. Little baby green buds coming out and then two feet of snow. Boom. I’ve been living into these questions about building capacity for feeling good, especially in a world where we are aware of (due to globalized media) so much of the HARD and devastastion beyond our local communities. I had a conversation with myself in my journal.
No conclusions.
Of course, it’s all nuanced. Not doing the thing or using the resource in order to stand in solidarity with someone (and move the collective needle) feels often like the right move. But, I’m hitting an impasse with “feeling good”—I don’t think anyone on the planet benefits by any fellow human not feeling good.
One Conclusion, though…
I spontaneously burned all of my gray underwear (my second-born Bo kept asking, “Why are we doing this?”) All I could say is very strong internal nudge and impulse. Plus ritual. She knows about ritual. I no longer want gray clothing on my body. Sweaters, tank tops, long sleeves, all ended up given to our local thrift store.
Speaking of small-ish towns, thank you to the friend I haven’t seen in ages and saw in the Coop yesterday. We found each other in front of the cold yogurt fridge. In her bright red rain coat, she moved toward me and grabbed my hand and we barely said anything to each other, just I see you, hello. I love being a social animal. I love community so so much. She was updated on me (-ish) because of these newsletters, which is a bizarre feeling and one that happens often. People ask, “How’s x?” and I get shocked and ask them how they know about that. Your newsletter! Sometimes I forget people are out there reading it…. so thank you for reading.
No, we don’t. We need to make peace with living in the layers grief and aliveness that this mysterious existence is. I find myself more and more making peace with mystery. Thank you! 💜
Love the dialogue within yourself. I shall borrow that technique. Also thank you for the idea of what I could do with all my old stained threadbare undies. Throwing them in the trash or turning them into rags has always felt… not quite right.