YES. I'm on the sidelines watching and supporting a dear friend date for the first time since leaving a long, horrifically abusive marriage. She's now (newly) with a kind, salt of the earth man (vetted by a mutual friend who has know him well for 20 years!), and she'll share with me after a good date that her body felt scared and anxious and nervous the whole time like something must be very wrong - because normal, positive interactions with a man are so foreign to her body. We've been talking about how, with time, she will be able to build resilience to experiencing positive male interaction, and how someday she will even be able to enjoy those interactions, not just tolerate them. I love this discussion of resilience in a context that's not often acknowledged!
Oh, hell yes to this. My wonderful coach calls this the game of “how good can you stand it?” - aka, how can you hold the beauty without trying to sabotage?
Thank you for the language of “building resilience for what feels good” - that will stick with me for a long time 🙏🏽♥️
YES. I'm on the sidelines watching and supporting a dear friend date for the first time since leaving a long, horrifically abusive marriage. She's now (newly) with a kind, salt of the earth man (vetted by a mutual friend who has know him well for 20 years!), and she'll share with me after a good date that her body felt scared and anxious and nervous the whole time like something must be very wrong - because normal, positive interactions with a man are so foreign to her body. We've been talking about how, with time, she will be able to build resilience to experiencing positive male interaction, and how someday she will even be able to enjoy those interactions, not just tolerate them. I love this discussion of resilience in a context that's not often acknowledged!
What a beautiful example, Christina. I'm heartened to hear that you all talk about this together.
Love this one! I am just reading The Resilience Myth by Soraya Chemaly, which I think you would really like.
Oh, hell yes to this. My wonderful coach calls this the game of “how good can you stand it?” - aka, how can you hold the beauty without trying to sabotage?
Thank you for the language of “building resilience for what feels good” - that will stick with me for a long time 🙏🏽♥️