I'm posting this here from a reader who wrote to me in an email. Keeping her anonymous.
You arrived in my inbox this morning.
A flood of grief and possibility washes over me.
I developed pelvic organ prolapse after the birth of my second son. It scared the shit out of me. I was afraid to bend over. I was so scared.
Fast forward, he’s now 5 and I deadlifted 70kgs in the gym yesterday.
I did an online pelvic floor rehab program for a few years, and then slowly progressed to actually wanting more challenge. Until eventually a few months ago I decided to start an introduction to barbells course with a trainer. I was once again so scared. Not sure if I could do it. Would it ruin my pelvic floor?
After the first few sessions I would barely make it to my car before bursting into tears. I was experiencing grief at being strong. My trainer would say to me “strong work today” and I felt so sad. I was so tired from having had to be strong for so many years. I had to grieve that relationship so I could form a new relationship with strong. I wanted the new strong and I was sad about the old strong, that I didn’t choose. So of course I had to build a tolerance for a new kind of strong. I’m getting there. A few weeks ago I graduated my introduction course and had to go to the gym all by myself….so scared, again. But step by step I’m getting there. My boys call me when they need something “Mom we need your big strong muscles over here”.
P.S. four weeks ago I deadlifted 70 kgs and my arms and legs could do it, but I felt a bulging and bearing down into my pelvic floor. So I grieved that it was my weakest link right now and went back to 60kgs for a few weeks and now, my pelvic floor is saying yes to 70. I’ll have my period next week so it might say no again then. So I’ll just listen and adjust.
Some new stats for me too Molly: hiked five miles in Belair np, my PT said my straight leg lift has gone from 30 to70 percent!, but 18 laps in the pool is my limit and that's ok, learning how to pronate using my glute muscles not my lower back, doing yoga listening to my body and stopping when there is pain (I cannot push through pain), practicing dead lifts. My organizing momentum here is being able to pick up a toddler and sit on the floor to do a puzzle with said toddler without pain.
I'm posting this here from a reader who wrote to me in an email. Keeping her anonymous.
You arrived in my inbox this morning.
A flood of grief and possibility washes over me.
I developed pelvic organ prolapse after the birth of my second son. It scared the shit out of me. I was afraid to bend over. I was so scared.
Fast forward, he’s now 5 and I deadlifted 70kgs in the gym yesterday.
I did an online pelvic floor rehab program for a few years, and then slowly progressed to actually wanting more challenge. Until eventually a few months ago I decided to start an introduction to barbells course with a trainer. I was once again so scared. Not sure if I could do it. Would it ruin my pelvic floor?
After the first few sessions I would barely make it to my car before bursting into tears. I was experiencing grief at being strong. My trainer would say to me “strong work today” and I felt so sad. I was so tired from having had to be strong for so many years. I had to grieve that relationship so I could form a new relationship with strong. I wanted the new strong and I was sad about the old strong, that I didn’t choose. So of course I had to build a tolerance for a new kind of strong. I’m getting there. A few weeks ago I graduated my introduction course and had to go to the gym all by myself….so scared, again. But step by step I’m getting there. My boys call me when they need something “Mom we need your big strong muscles over here”.
P.S. four weeks ago I deadlifted 70 kgs and my arms and legs could do it, but I felt a bulging and bearing down into my pelvic floor. So I grieved that it was my weakest link right now and went back to 60kgs for a few weeks and now, my pelvic floor is saying yes to 70. I’ll have my period next week so it might say no again then. So I’ll just listen and adjust.
Some new stats for me too Molly: hiked five miles in Belair np, my PT said my straight leg lift has gone from 30 to70 percent!, but 18 laps in the pool is my limit and that's ok, learning how to pronate using my glute muscles not my lower back, doing yoga listening to my body and stopping when there is pain (I cannot push through pain), practicing dead lifts. My organizing momentum here is being able to pick up a toddler and sit on the floor to do a puzzle with said toddler without pain.
Oh and I have literally reversed osteoporosis to osteopenia... Another organizing force!!